Post by OscarWillebeest on May 25, 2008 11:23:42 GMT -5
"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." Which of course, dear asshole, er… I mean reader, is the famous words of Charles Dicken’s David Copperfield, from his novel titled David Copperfield, of course!
The flipside being that very few of you will ever be a hero or something even remotedly similar: neither in your own lives, or that of someone else. Especially since such requires at least a measure of inherent nobleness, which one can hardly expect to be present in people of uncertain heritage. Still, thus is this yearning that cannot be ignored, and if not someone’s hero, then perhaps one must angle to be something’s hero, like a tree, for instance?
After all, scientists believe that plants do have feelings, and if so then each of you might well be the hero in a tree’s life, by simply shitting less! Ain’t life wonderful? Simply shit less, and be a hero! Indeed, dearest reader, every day 270 000 trees, world wide are being chopped down and turned into toilet paper. And this we cannot allow to continue, not with some of you assholes around!
Not that a much needed shit is always to one’s disadvantage… oh no. Not when one takes into account the instance of the Chinese lady falling from six stories up. A gonner, bystanders thought. That is until she hit a pile of shit, there on the pavement, her only inconvenience being a sprained ankle! Maybe we should do it the Roman way: wipe your arse with your fingers, and wipe your fingers with a little sponge.
Whatever the case may be: you can be an instant hero in the eyes of a tree, by simply shitting less! Or better yet: STOP SHITTING ALTOGETHER!
Afrikaans translation.
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"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." En dit, wat nie een van julle ongeletterde klomp etters geweet het nie, is die onvergeetlike woorde van David Copperfield, soos gebesig in Charles Dickens se gelyknamige verhaal.
Maar natuurlik sal die meeste van julle nooit die held in julle eie lewens , never mind iemand anders se lewens kan wees nie, want sulks vereis oppie minste ‘n mate van ingebore edelmoedigheid, wat kwalik te vinde is in mense van onsekere herkoms. Nogtans is dit ‘n behoefte wat nie maklik agterwee gelaat kan word nie, en as mens dan nou nie die held in iemand se lewe kan wees, sal jy jouself perdalks as sodanig moet laat geld innie “oge” van iets, soos byvoorbeeld ‘n boom.
Immers beweer die wetenskaplikes dat plante oor gevoelens beskik, en indien wel kan elkeen van ons as persoonlike held vannie een of anner boom optree, deur bloot eenvoudig minder te kak! Ja, liewe vriende, elke dag bly meer as 270 000 bome wereldwyd innie slag om mense wat vol kak is van kakpapier te voorsien. En so kan dit nie aangaan nie, viral nie met die groot gatte wat sommige vannie Koekeniers het nie.
Nie dat kak nou altyd ‘n kak ding is nie! Soos vroeer die week bewys is toe ‘n Sjinese vrou 6 verdiepings ver geval het, en ongeskonde daarvan afgekom het, omrede sy op ‘n hoop kak te lande gekom het! Maar miskien moet ons soos die ou Romeine maak: vee jou gat met jou vingers af, en was jou hand dan met ‘n sponsie.
Wat ookal- wees vandag ‘n held innie oge vannie een of ander boom: HOU JOU KAK IN.
The flipside being that very few of you will ever be a hero or something even remotedly similar: neither in your own lives, or that of someone else. Especially since such requires at least a measure of inherent nobleness, which one can hardly expect to be present in people of uncertain heritage. Still, thus is this yearning that cannot be ignored, and if not someone’s hero, then perhaps one must angle to be something’s hero, like a tree, for instance?
After all, scientists believe that plants do have feelings, and if so then each of you might well be the hero in a tree’s life, by simply shitting less! Ain’t life wonderful? Simply shit less, and be a hero! Indeed, dearest reader, every day 270 000 trees, world wide are being chopped down and turned into toilet paper. And this we cannot allow to continue, not with some of you assholes around!
Not that a much needed shit is always to one’s disadvantage… oh no. Not when one takes into account the instance of the Chinese lady falling from six stories up. A gonner, bystanders thought. That is until she hit a pile of shit, there on the pavement, her only inconvenience being a sprained ankle! Maybe we should do it the Roman way: wipe your arse with your fingers, and wipe your fingers with a little sponge.
Whatever the case may be: you can be an instant hero in the eyes of a tree, by simply shitting less! Or better yet: STOP SHITTING ALTOGETHER!
Afrikaans translation.
-----------------------------
"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." En dit, wat nie een van julle ongeletterde klomp etters geweet het nie, is die onvergeetlike woorde van David Copperfield, soos gebesig in Charles Dickens se gelyknamige verhaal.
Maar natuurlik sal die meeste van julle nooit die held in julle eie lewens , never mind iemand anders se lewens kan wees nie, want sulks vereis oppie minste ‘n mate van ingebore edelmoedigheid, wat kwalik te vinde is in mense van onsekere herkoms. Nogtans is dit ‘n behoefte wat nie maklik agterwee gelaat kan word nie, en as mens dan nou nie die held in iemand se lewe kan wees, sal jy jouself perdalks as sodanig moet laat geld innie “oge” van iets, soos byvoorbeeld ‘n boom.
Immers beweer die wetenskaplikes dat plante oor gevoelens beskik, en indien wel kan elkeen van ons as persoonlike held vannie een of anner boom optree, deur bloot eenvoudig minder te kak! Ja, liewe vriende, elke dag bly meer as 270 000 bome wereldwyd innie slag om mense wat vol kak is van kakpapier te voorsien. En so kan dit nie aangaan nie, viral nie met die groot gatte wat sommige vannie Koekeniers het nie.
Nie dat kak nou altyd ‘n kak ding is nie! Soos vroeer die week bewys is toe ‘n Sjinese vrou 6 verdiepings ver geval het, en ongeskonde daarvan afgekom het, omrede sy op ‘n hoop kak te lande gekom het! Maar miskien moet ons soos die ou Romeine maak: vee jou gat met jou vingers af, en was jou hand dan met ‘n sponsie.
Wat ookal- wees vandag ‘n held innie oge vannie een of ander boom: HOU JOU KAK IN.